| Feature Item |
| Muslim Remarriage – What, Marriage Again?!! Fri 17 Sep 2004 |
| `I have been overwhelmed by the response, from women especially...' |
Nowadays, young Muslims find the whole marriage process exceedingly difficult. Being a divorcee, particularly with a child, further reduces the prospect of finding a suitable marriage partner. There are many marriage events now being held to facilitate the 'arranged marriage' process which bring together Muslim singletons, usually with a chaperone, but none that cater specifically for people who are divorced or widowed. Unfortunately there are very negative attitudes towards divorcees, particularly in the South Asian community where divorce often seems to be perceived as the woman's fault. Once a woman is divorced, she is proverbially placed firmly on the shelf with little or often no prospect of ever tying the knot again.
We know these attitudes which stigmatise divorcees and in turn lead to them being disregarded as potential marriage partners have cultural rather than religious roots. In South Asian culture particularly, the traditional wife often endures a multitude of injustices in order to preserve the stability of the marital home. In contemporary times, however, women are far more robust, as well as often being financially independent, thus divorce, although not taken lightly, is on the increase. However it still seems far easier for divorced men to remarry than divorced women. There are many reasons for this, which need a more detailed analysis than I can give now, but it is clear that a fundamental inequality between the sexes exists within our community.
I discussed ideas for a 'Muslim Remarriage Event' with my family and friends and received a lot of support and so I decided to gauge the level of interest of would-be guests by sending out emails to a few mailing lists – and getting permission to advertise the potential event in various mosques. The response was overwhelmingly positive and male to female responders fairly equal. I found this very encouraging and this motivated me to proceed with organising the event even though I knew that being a full time teacher and mother, finding the time would be difficult!
Preparations began in the Easter holidays, and advertising in mid-August. A team of core helpers and I approached many organisations to generate publicity and the Eastern Eye magazine feature and the UK Islamic Events and Notices List were the most successful ways of reaching out to potential participants as well as word of mouth.
Although initially I was concerned about embarking on this project, the response so far has proved that this was a much needed event. I have been overwhelmed by the response from women especially, so much so that the event had to be brought forward and tickets are sold out for the event this Saturday. God Willing I sincerely hope the event will be of benefit to those who attend. I would also consider it a success if the publicity generated via news reports and the Internet could go some way to highlight the issues and attitudes surrounding divorce in our society.
Now is the time for us as a community to rethink our attitudes rather than clinging to unfounded and often crippling, cultural and social stereotypes.
Mahmuda Mazid
|
|
| Disclaimer |
| Events are listed by the Muslim Council of Britain (the "MCB") at its discretion. The views of any organisation holding an event or any speakers at such an event are theirs alone and not those of the MCB. The MCB is not responsible for the content of external sites. The inclusion of any events on the MCB website does not amount to any endorsement by the MCB of such event or of any speakers at such event. |
|
|
